My Guide

Lost in a world that has no end
Making my way through life
Who am I kidding?
Stumbling aimlessly through
Lost among the mazes to which there is no end.

I hear a voice far off
A cooling, soothing sound
Drawing me closer, closer
I follow, led by an unknown force
As if the heavens have opened just for me.

As I grow nearer
The world around me changes
I’m no longer in a maze
This lush field surrounds me
But where is the voice, with words I don’t understand.

Slowly, the fog clears
And these pedantic emotions
Seem to all make sense
Is that what I am feeling?
Humming along with the voice, I fall into sleep...

While always being sorry for everything he’s not.

Familiar Stranger

For years I’ve had these feelings

That I never could explain

They’re cold and dark, ugly things

All marked with clear disdain.

I’ve learned so many things from you

But not the way you’d prayed,

I learned how not to love someone

And how to feel betrayed.

Your hopes for me were for yourself,

You’d planned my life ahead.

Without a care you pushed away

Until finally I fled.

You’ve never seen who I am,

And never known my heart;

Every time we’ve gotten close

You’ve taken it apart.

They talk about a mother’s love

And I feel I should agree,

I never understood, but then

You weren’t a mom to me.

You’re someone I hardly knew…

Confusion

Why can’t I grasp my thoughts?
I feel what I want to say but no words,
Couldn’t explain it if I tried
I know what I mean, but I don’t.

Enraging, to be speechless
When I have so much to say,
I’m falling apart, can’t think
Can’t move, depressed.

Suddenly words begin flowing
A tidal wave of ideas, peaceful,
But it’s too late, I’m alone
Only I can learn what I couldn’t remember.

Where do you go, to hide from yourself?

A chasm separates us

From years of pouring rain

It’s severed our few ties

And muffled our disdain.

You were always in my life

But not where I needed you most

Now I peer out thru the haze

And only see a ghost.

I’ve kept myself quite hidden

Just like I saw you do

The anger and the silence

I saw myself in both of you.

I turned my back, and so did you

And we pushed ourselves away

I was wild, stubborn, and very lost

Or so I heard you say.

I’ve tried so hard to be myself

In all I say and do

I want to be enough for me

Although I’m not for you.

I’m not the man you envisioned

Because I’m still a boy inside

And you’ll never get to know me

You don’t seek, but I still hide.